When self-care feels heavy – try this instead

We’ve all been told to take care of ourselves, to rest, recharge, and reset. Self-care is something I advocated for more of, and I’ve been shouting its benefits from the rooftops for years.

But what happens when self-care starts to feel like another thing you’re not doing well enough?

You plan the perfect morning routine…but hit snooze.

You buy the mindfulness app…and never open it.

You add “self-care” to your to-do list… and then feel guilty when it doesn’t happen.

Somewhere along the way, wellbeing became a performance, a list of practices, products, and perfect routines that promise calm but often create more pressure.

So if your version of self-care feels heavy, maybe it’s time to redefine it.

Because real self-care isn’t about doing more, it’s about noticing what’s already good, even in the middle of the mess.

The Power of "Three Good Things"

At Bounce, our team regularly uses a simple practice called Three Good Things. It’s not fancy or complicated, and that’s exactly why it works.

Here’s how it goes: At the end of the day, take a moment to name three small, good things that happened.

They don’t have to be big wins. In fact, they rarely are.

It might be:

A great cup of coffee.
A kind word from a colleague.
The sun breaking through the clouds.

That’s it. No journaling marathons. No gratitude spreadsheets (though Nettie does love a spreadsheet!) Just three small moments of goodness, noticed and named.

It’s a gentle way to shift your attention away from what’s missing, and back toward what’s meaningful.

And when things feel hard and when the world feels heavy, this practice can be a quiet anchor.

Because noticing what’s good doesn’t erase what’s hard, it reminds you that both can exist at once.

Why it works

When we reflect on small positives, we retrain the brain to look for them. It’s a simple, yet powerful way to achieve cognitive balance.

Our minds are wired with a negativity bias, which is a tendency to focus on threats, problems, and stress. “Three Good Things” helps restore equilibrium by shining light on what’s working,

Over time, this simple act of noticing builds resilience. It teaches you that even on the tough days, there’s still good to be found and that good is often enough to keep you going.

Redefining self-care

Self-care is talked about far more often these days, and with social media influencing the message, we understand the benefits of it.

But with increased knowledge and understanding comes increased pressure to make it a priority. It feels like self-care has become ‘another thing’ to add to our already full to-do lists, and we feel guilty if we don’t tick it off every day.

What if we didn’t think about self-care as items on a checklist of activities? What if we thought of it as a mindset – a way of relating to yourself with curiosity, compassion, and kindness?

Instead of asking, “What do I need to do to feel better?”

Try asking, “What’s already here that I can appreciate?”

It’s not about bubble baths or green smoothies (unless you love those ). It’s about building a habit of noticing the tiny things that make you feel human, grounded, and grateful.

Your turn

Tonight, before you scroll one more time, try this:

1. Pause.
2. Breathe.
3. And ask yourself — what are three good things from today?

They don’t have to be profound. They just have to be yours.

Tools to help you on your self-care journey!

THREE GOOD THINGS WORKSHEET

THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO
SELF-CARE

Final thoughts...

The first 30–90 days of any role are a window of opportunity.

It’s the moment where mindset is shaped, habits are formed, and culture is absorbed. That’s why powerful onboarding paired with meaningful, role-aligned professional development is one of the highest ROI investments any leader can make.

So, if you’re ready to: